Where do a onelegged dude work?
ihop!
Wanna hear a construction joke?
I am still working on it
Why did the bread get fired from work?
He was toasted!
What kind of work do you do in the North Pole?
Ho-ho-homework!
A dumb guy works at a donut shop. It was his first day there. A customer walks in and says, “How much are these donuts?”. The dumb guy says, “I don’t know.” So the customer left. The manager walked in and said, “No, no, you’re supposed to say, ‘Only a dollar and 25 cents.'”
Another customer walks in and says, “Are these donuts fresh?” And the dumb guys says, “I don’t know.” So the customer left. The manager walked in and said, “No, no, you’re supposed to say, ‘Yes, yes, very fresh.'”
Another customer walks in and says, “Can I buy these?” And the dumb guy says, “I don’t know.” So the customer left. The manager walks in and says, “No, no, you’re supposed to say, ‘If you don’t somebody else will.'”
A robber walks in and says, “How much money you got in that cash register?” The dumb guy replies, “Only a dollar and 25 cents.”
The robber says, “Are you trying to be fresh with me?” The dumb guy says, “Yes, yes, very fresh!”
The robber says, “Can I shoot you?” The dumb guy replies, “If you don’t somebody else will!”
The robber says, “Are you trying to be fresh with me?” The dumb guy says, “Yes, yes, very fresh!”
The robber says, “Can I shoot you?” The dumb guy replies, “If you don’t somebody else will!”
One day three carpenters were working on a roof, and it was lunch hour. They opened their lunch boxes, and the first guy said “If I get this sandwich again tomorrow, I’m gonna jump off this roof!”
“Yeah me too!” said the second carpenter.
The third guy said “Yeah me too!”
So the next day the three men opened their lunch boxes, and the first guy said “Good-bye guys, I got the sandwich.”
The second man said, “Good bye my friend, I gotta die now, I got the sandwich again.” He jumped off.
The third guy did as the first two and jumped off as well.
At the funeral, the first wife said “I wish I had known that my husband didn’t like those sandwiches.”
“Me too.” said the second wife.
“I wish I knew why my husband jumped!” said the third wife.
The other two said, “What are you talking about?”
She answered, “He made his own sandwiches!”
“Me too.” said the second wife.
“I wish I knew why my husband jumped!” said the third wife.
The other two said, “What are you talking about?”
She answered, “He made his own sandwiches!”
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