“Waiter, Waiter how long since this table has been washed?”
“I don’t know; I have only worked here 6 months!”
Three hicks were working on a telephone tower – Steve, Bruce and Jed. Steve falls off and is killed instantly.
As the ambulance takes the body away, Bruce says, “Someone should go and tell his wife.”
Jed says, “OK, I’m pretty good at that sensitive stuff, I’ll do it.”
Two hours later, he comes back carrying a case of beer.
Bruce says, “Where did you get that, Jed?”
“Steve’s wife gave it to me,” Jed replies.
“That’s unbelievable, you told the lady her husband was dead and she gave you beer?”
Well, not exactly”, Jed says. “When she answered the door, I said to her, ‘You must be Steve’s widow’.”
She said, “No, I’m not a widow!”
And I said, “I’ll bet you a case of Budweiser you are.
A man worked for an ice cream parlor. As he was changing the prices, he dropped his price stickers in the ice cream. What did he have then?
Odds in flavor!
What do call missing work because of a broken leg?
A lame excuse!!
How do dinosaurs get paid?
With tyrannosaurus checks!
What dinosaur keeps the streets free of crime and protects the world from evil?
Triceracops!
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