Policeman Jokes

What is a detective’s ultimate car?

A man is in jail and got a note from his wife; it said, “When is a good time to plant my flowers? I’m going to dig up the garden.” Knowing that the guard reads all the letters, he wrote back, “No, that’s where I put the cash.” A day later he got a letter that said, “People came and dug up the back yard!”

Why was the policeman standing on dog poo?

A police officer spots a car on the highway going about 22mph, so he stops the car, with a lady and some of her friends, and tells the lady how dangerous is to be going slow as it is to speed. The lady answers “Officer I was going the speed limit! 22mph!”
The officer says… that is the highway #.. That’s what highway you’re on. But I need to ask you, are your friends okay, they seem a little shaken up and pale…

Why did the policeman spend a lot of time in his bed?

There were three robbers. They had just roobed a bank and the police were following so they all climbed up a different tree. So the police went to the first tree and said “Who goes there?”
The first robber said, “Tweet tweet!” and the police thought he was a bird.
Then the police went to the second tree and said, “Who goes there?”
The robber said, “Whoo hoo!” and the police thought he was a owl.
Then they went to the next tree and said “Who goes there?” And the robber said…