A doctor at an insane asylum decided to take his patients to a baseball game. For weeks in advance, he coached his patients to respond to his commands. When the day of the game arrived, everything seemed to be going well. As the National Anthem started…….the doctor yelled, “Up Nuts” and the patients complied by standing up. After the anthem …he yelled, “Down Nuts”. And they all sat back down in their seats. After a home run was hit, the doctor yelled, “Cheer Nuts.” They all broke out into applause and cheered. When the umpire made a particularly bad call against the star of the home team, the Doctor yelled, “Booooo Nuts!!!” and they all started booing and cat calling. Thinking things were going very well. The doctor decided to go get a soda and a hot dog, leaving his assistant in charge. When he returned, there was a riot in progress. Finding his assistant, the doctor asked, “What in the world happened?”
The assistant replied, “Well, everything was going just fine until a vendor passed by and yelled, ‘PEANUTS!'”
Why is it better to have a tree in your house than a dog?
Because its bark will not bother the neighbors!!
What did Snow White say when she went to pickup her pictures?
Someday my prints will come!!
Why did the elephant paint his toenails red?
So he could hide in a cherry tree!!
Where is Count Dracula’s Office?
The Vampire State Building!!
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
Cash!
Cash who?
I knew you were nuts!!!