Where to snakes go out to eat?
A Sssssizzzzler Restaurant!
What do you call a deer with no eyes?
No eye deer!! (no idea)
Will you remember me in a month?
Yes.
Will you remember me in a year?
Yes.
Will you remember me in two years?
Yes.
Knock, knock.
Who’s there?
I thought you would remember me!!!
What happens when you cross a friend and a calculator?
You get a friend you can count on!!!
Why do people put fences around cemetaries?
Because people are dying to get in there!!!
Two old men had been best friends for years, and they both live to their early 90’s, when one of them suddenly falls deathly ill. His friend comes to visit him on his deathbed, and they’re reminiscing about their long friendship, when the dying man’s friend asks, “Listen, when you die, do me a favor. I want to know if there’s baseball in heaven.” The dying man said, “We’ve been friends for years, this I’ll do for you.” And then he dies. A couple days later, his surviving friend is sleeping when he hears his friend’s voice.
The voice says, “I’ve got some good news and some bad news. The good news is that there’s baseball in heaven.” “What’s the bad news?” “You’re pitching on Wednesday.”
