What did the grape say when the elephant stepped on it?
Nothing, it just let out a little wine!
Why is your aquarium wearing a shirt?
It is a tank top!
A man was lonely so he went to the pet store to buy an unusual pet. He bought a centipede.
When the man got home and had set up the centipede’s home, he decided to take it out to lunch. He went over and asked, “Do you want to go to lunch with me?” He waited for an answer but got none.
He asked again, “Do you want to go out to lunch with me?” After getting no answer, he waited a minute, and then asked again, “Do you want to go out?”
Well, he was getting a little mad, so then he got closer to the box and said a little louder, “Do you want to go out to eat?”
He heard a tiny voice say, “I heard you the first time. I am putting on my shoes!”
What is black when it’s clean and white when it’s dirty?
A chalkboard!!
How does a hawk feel when he is embarrassed?
HAWKWARD!
What did one eye say to the other?
Between you and me there is something that smells!!
