What is black when you buy it, red when you use it, and gray when you throw it away?
Coal!
Why was the piano player arrested?
Because he got into treble.
What do you get when you drop a piano on an army base?
Flat major.
Pupil: Please Sir! Did you hear that scientists have found life on another planet?
Teacher: What are you talking about?
Pupil: They found fleas on Pluto!
Three little pigs went to a restaurant.
The waiter walked over to the pigs and said, “What would you like for your appetizers?
Pig 1 replied, “Crackers!”
Pig 2 replied, “French fries!”
Pig 3 answered, “Lots and lots of water.”
Another waiter walked up the the 3 little pigs and asked, “What would like for dinner?”
Pig 1 said, “Roast beef!”
PIg 2 replied, “Steak!”
Pig 3 answered, “Lots and lots of water!”
After dinner the waiter came back and asked, What would like for dessert?”
Pig 1 replied, “A sundae!”
Pig 2 said, “Candy!”
Pig 3 answered, “Lots and lots of water!”
Then the waiter asked, the third little pig, “Why do you want so much water?”
Pig 3 replied, “Well, I’m the pig that has to go we we we all the way home!”
Why did the girl throw a clock out of the window?
To see time fly!
