Why are penguins so popular on the Internet?
Because they have Web feet! (webbed)
What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?
Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant!
A man enters a library and walks up to the librarian at the desk and says loudly, “I’d like a cheeseburger with fries, hold the ketchup!”.
The librarian replies in whispered tones, “But sir, this is a library!”.
Coming to his senses, the man replies in a whispered tone, “Can I please have a cheeseburger with fries, hold the ketchup.”
What did the big chimney say to the small chimney?
You’re too young to smoke!
What do you call a homeless snail?
A slug!
Why couldn’t the 11-year old get into the pirate movie?
Because it was rated “Rrrrr!”