Two hunters are walking in the woods when one of them suddenly collapses. His eyes are glazed over and he isn’t breathing. The other one whips out his phone and calls 911. The person on the other line answers the call and asks the hunter what the problem is. The hunter says “My friend is dead! What do I do?” The person says “I’ll help you, first let’s make sure he’s dead.”
People Jokes
What’s the difference between a doofus and a shopping cart?
Anthony: Pete and Repeat decided to go on a camping trip. When they set up camp, Pete went outside the tent to go to the bathroom. Who was left inside?
Anthony: Pete and Repeat decided to go an a camping trip. When they set up camp, Pete went outside the tent to go to the bathroom. Who was left inside?
You: Repeat
Anthony: Pete and Repeat…
Where did the Egyptian boy get the flu from?
Did you hear about the beggar that had a stuffy nose?
Three guys are out hunting.
The first guy goes out and comes back with a rabbit. “How did you get that?” the other guys ask. “I followed the rabbit tracks” he answers.
The second guy goes out and comes back with a turkey. “How did you get that?” the other guys ask. “I followed the turkey tracks” He answers.
The third guy goes out and comes back all bloody and torn up. “What happened?” the other guys ask.
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